Sunday, March 15, 2009
I am so thankful that spring has finally sprung here in Indiana. I am sorry to those who are still in the cold (that's why I live here). The kids and I have been watching as our spring flowers are coming up in the backyard and the buds on the trees. I enjoy the winter months in December and January, but am ready for better weather come February and definitely March. I guess I have become "weak" since living here for a while :). We have had a rough few weeks as strep throat has attacked us. I hope we don't have anymore of that!! We have been doing pretty good otherwise. It is still very hard for me to really concentrate on something. My mind always wanders back to times with Warren. It's wonderful to have so many memories, but also bittersweet. On Valentine's Day I took the kids to buy a balloon for each of us and then we wrote notes on them and went to the cemetery to spend a moment "with Daddy". Then we wished him a "Happy Valentine's" and let the balloon's go. That is kind of a tradition with balloons in our family. When Maddie was a little girl she received a helium balloon at a party. That night Warren had to get up in the middle of the night and when he came around the corner the balloon moved in front of him and he thought it was an intruder and punched it :). If you knew Warren you would understand that that was the end of the helium balloons in our home. So after a while to alleviate the downpour of tears we started letting them go in the air to my grandmother who had passed away. Now we continue that with notes on the balloons. It is very good for all of us. The kids are able to express their love and sometimes emotion. I can't believe it has been 5 months! I miss Warren so very much! I still only take one day at a time. The thought of the rest of my life here on earth without Warren is absolutely overwhelming!! But, God has been good!! I have been reading small portions of several books and articles people have given me. They have been very helpful and encouraging, but I can only read small portions at a time. So much is still so very fresh and the constant reality that Warren will never be returning to us on earth is very sobering for all of us to take in. I wanted to share with you a wonderful memory my 6 year old shares with me often about her daddy. She tells me all the time when she is sitting down reading her Bible and she says "Mommy, I'm reading my Bible. Daddy always read his Bible and when he died he was in Romans. I always saw him reading and I want to be that way too." I could never ask for anything so wonderful as to know that my children remember their daddy sitting in his chair reading his Bible. I hope they say the same of their mother someday. I hope that the parents reading this take note of how our children watch what we do and someday when you leave this earth what will they remember? I am so thankful that the memories are not only of the fun and loving daddy, but that he loved God's Word. What a wonderful treasure we have!!