Sunday, September 27, 2009

As fall approaches.......

I feel compelled to write tonight as so many things are going through my mind. The one year anniversary is quickly approaching. I haven't said anything to the kids, as I didn't think they would be aware of the time. I am amazed by my children though. I don't even know if they realize what is coming, but they know the season. Part of the problem, I believe, is that fall was Warren's favorite time of year. How he loved all the fun and warmth of the autumn season. It is something we all look so forward too and yet something is missing and they know it. They are having trouble sleeping and have begun to ask questions and make comments about "fall is daddy's favorite season, isn't it", or "daddy and I had fun when the leaves fell". Tonight, I found my little man with all his blankets on the floor after I put him to bed. I said "buddy, what are you doing?" He replied "when I miss my daddy, I like to sleep like this". Many times I do not understand what is going on in those little heads, but I just snuggled him. Football has also started and tonight I walked downstairs to get something to drink and the TV was on the Colts game. It was a difficult, almost breathtaking moment as I caught myself looking in the chair (hoping to see him). I keep the games on as though I have too. It's so strange, the things we hold on too......

10 comments:

Jenn Basham said...

Tana... We are continuing to pray for you. We have not forgotten and I know God will hold you especially close during the coming days!

Anonymous said...

Honey, You know we are praying. There are no other words to say at a time like this. We wish we could take your pain away. That is the most difficult part for a parent. We love you with all our heart. Mom and Dad Psalm 91

Anonymous said...

oh Tana,

reading your posts is so bitter-sweet. We have not stopped praying for you, thinking of you and wondering about you all. The kids look so beautiful. All i can say is that we do care and we do beg the King on your behalf.

Ryan and crew

Jana said...

Tana,
I got Maddie's letter today! So sweet. Again...remember how emotional I am! Not good to have you and her write things in one day!! Struggling!!!!!

Kelly said...

My heart goes out to you and your kids. I am praying for you all!

Anonymous said...

Thought of you and the children this week-end & prayed for a sense of peace & calmness to envelope you. May God continue to keep you close in His care.
Rebecca

Angie said...

Tana,
Thank you for sharing! You are still being thought of and prayed for; God is faithful! I hope you will have a blessed fall with the kids.

Anonymous said...

Tan, I pray for you guys all of the time. I so miss the big guy so much. He was such a part of my life and it has been tough these past days. Sometimes I wish we could roll back time. I cherish the few moments I was blessed with Warren P.

David

Anonymous said...

Tana,
I continue to pray for you and the kids. Still miss him.

Gerald

Tom and Judy said...

Tana, Your update has been a blessing to me. I have been thinking of you a lot as I know this second year is difficult. You have some very precious children. You have a very special friend in Kelly. What a thoughtful gift.

Love and Prayer,
Tom and Judy Moessner